Leading Everyday: Ditch the Ego, Embrace the Jello - Why Playfulness is a Leadership Power Move

Never stay up in the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness - by Ludwig Wittgenstein.

When my daughters were younger, I made many attempts to be funny. I thought I was hilarious, but they didn't see it that way. Years later, one finally said, "Dad, you are funny." Where was that acknowledgment years ago?

My attempts to connect with my daughters through humor were driven by a desire to be a good father and someone they could relate to. I wanted them to know that while their success was critical, there was always time for levity, laughter, and silliness.

Silliness can be misconstrued as childish, something we wouldn't associate with strong leadership. However, when defined as lightheartedness and playfulness, silliness can enhance a leader's ability.

It fosters approachability and demonstrates that you're human. Leaders often want to draw a line between themselves and their team, fearing familiarity may decrease performance. However, research suggests relatable leaders inspire higher levels of commitment in their employees. They know they can approach their leader without fear of judgment if they make a mistake.

Part of embracing silliness is letting go of the appearance of perfection. No one is perfect, even those in leadership positions. True leadership growth involves humility and acknowledging your flaws.

Silliness has its benefits. It makes you approachable, which is vital to nurturing the development of children and employees alike. In his LinkedIn article, Gary Sheffer says, "Silliness can be an icebreaker, a bridge, an olive branch, a connection."

It also reveals your humanity. We should laugh at situations, at ourselves, and with others to build deeper connections.

In his article in Fast Company, Jonathan Keyser cites the World Health Organization recognizing work-related stress as an illness. To combat this illness, he says that part of his job as a leader is keeping his "office as light and silly as possible."

You won't be remembered for being severe and rigid but for being human and not taking yourself too seriously. One day, silliness will be a sought-after leadership trait. 

So come down from those heights of cleverness, be vulnerable, and embrace moments of silliness.

Leading Everyday - My Leadership Journey

 

Part of my leadership development is reading, watching TED talks, and listening to music. 

Growing up, I enjoyed all kinds of music. It was a source of inspiration and encouragement and a learning medium. Initially, music was a companion to me. I lost myself in the lyrics, music, and melody. It had much meaning to me when I was younger. 

As I grew past my teens and into my twenties, music still was a source for those things mentioned above, but for a different purpose. Well past my twenties, music still plays the same role in my life but with more maturity. There is one song in particular I listened to recently—Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten." If you haven't heard the lyrics, listen to YouTube or Spotify.

"UnWritten" takes you through a deeply personal journey where your life is "unwritten." You have the power to write your own story. No one can do it for you. It speaks to our dreams and the power of words to usher in your journey. Listening to the lyrics certainly applies to my leadership journey. Below are three takes away from the song that leaders can use: 

Take others with you—A leadership journey doesn't have to be lonely. Others will share your vision, passion, and what you are trying to accomplish. Take them along on your journey. Not only will you enrich them while you progress in your journey, but they can also be a source of support and add value to your journey and destination. 

Learn in your journey – no journey is devoid of a lesson or two – or more – as you charter your course. Learn from the mistakes that you will make. Because making a mistake is not a matter of "if" but of "when." You'll learn how to do things better, more efficiently, and more effectively. You will grow in maturity, understanding of others, and how the world around you works. So keep your eyes open as you journey to take advantage of the lessons you will surely learn. 

Have an impact – on your journey, you will have stops. Those stops are not your final destination. Those are rest stops where you will have the opportunity to help others while still maintaining focus on your goal. Who knows, maybe even some of the people you will help along the way will be those you will take on your leadership journey. So, impact the people or situations you will encounter along the way. They will make you a better leader, make the trip more enjoyable, and make the reward more fulfilling. 

What remains to be written in your leadership journey? What else can you learn as you travel the road of leadership?

Leading Everyday - Leading during change

 

At one of my previous employers, we implemented new systems and processes after a year of anticipation. The journey began with training and then the exciting "go-live." While challenging, organizational change offers incredible growth and leadership development opportunities.

Having successfully navigated change before, I know the keys to success. Here's what's worked for me:

·       Be Engaged: Proactive engagement is vital. I delved into the training to grasp how the changes would impact my team and our operations. Leaders must ensure smooth transitions to protect customers, employees, and the business https://online.champlain.edu/blog/best-organizational-change-management-strategies].

·       Be Present: I was physically present throughout the implementation. My visibility reassured my team and signaled my full support: https://beehivepr.biz/7-strategies-to-effectively-managing-organizational-change/: https://beehivepr.biz/7-strategies-to-effectively-managing-organizational-change/].

·       Challenge the Process: Leaders must advocate for improvements. I gave feedback on the initial training format, resulting in better hands-on sessions. Never settle for solutions that hinder your team: https://hbr.org/2008/07/choosing-strategies-for-change].

Beyond these, here are additional strategies from the experts:

·       Strong Communication: Explain the 'why' behind changes, and continuously update your team: https://beehivepr.biz/7-strategies-to-effectively-managing-organizational-change/: https://beehivepr.biz/7-strategies-to-effectively-managing-organizational-change/, https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/strategies-effective-change-management-craig-a-taylor].

·       Empathy and Support: Change is difficult. Provide resources and acknowledge the challenges your team faces: https://honehq.com/blog/leadership-training-in-change-management/]

·       Celebrate Wins: Recognize progress and milestones to build positive momentum: https://www.eaglesflight.com/resource/5-change-management-strategies-for-leaders/]

Change is constant, but we can turn it into a chance to thrive with the right approach!

Let's Discuss: What change management strategies have you found most effective?

Leading Everyday - Resilient Leadership: Adapt, Innovate, and Thrive

"The oak fought the wind and was broken; the willow bent when it must and survived." Robert Jordan quoted in his book The Fires of Heaven.

The quote symbolizes the adaptability and resilience needed to handle work and life pressure. 

As leaders we will be confronted with situations that are beyond our control. We can fight them all the way through. Or we can adapt to a new normal and be resilient enough to come back stronger than ever from the changes that the new normal brings.

The Rigid Leader vs. The Adaptive Leader

The quote represents two types of leaders. The rigid leader and the adaptive leader. 

The rigid leader is the one who says, we have always done it this way and has minimal incentive to try something new. This type of leader does not innovate and will crush the spirit of their team because they are not open to feedback or trying new ideas.

I have experienced this type of leader. Some negative impacts are that employees are no longer willing to share their ideas, which can benefit the organization. These employees become frustrated that they are not being heard and ultimately leave the organization.

These individuals lead organizations with little to no forward momentum, leading to growth.

On the other hand, you have an adaptive leader. They are growth-oriented, innovative, open to feedback, and engage their organizations at all levels.

These beloved leaders drive innovation and streamlined processes but know that they are only successful because the people around them are willing to roll up their sleeves and get the work done. 

They know change is inevitable, and the only certainty is that change is always on the move. 

Adaptive leaders know that nothing stays the same, as Cicely Simpson aptly notes in her article about adaptability.

Cultivating Resilience as a Leader

A key attribute of leaders is their ability to be resilient. They can bounce back from any challenge, setback, or complex situation and become stronger. As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Nancy Koehn, Harvard Business School Professor, defines resilience as follows:

“Resilience is the capacity to not only endure great challenges but get stronger in the midst of them. This is such an extraordinarily important capability because we live in a world that’s one nonstop crisis—one calamity, one emergency, one unexpected, often difficult surprise—after another, like waves breaking on the shore.”

In his piece about becoming a more resilient leader, Matthew Gavin highlights why it is essential to be resilient, how to respond to a crisis, and 4 ways that leaders can build resiliency. 

During my leadership journey, I have experienced setbacks and failures. Unfortunately, some were my own doing, which is another lesson. But during those times, I learned that I need to bounce back, do things differently, get better results, and come out with more vigor and lessons to apply to the next challenge. 

You can deploy different strategies as a leader to be resilient.

One is to prioritize your self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Understanding yourself and what makes you behave and react to situations is critical. Leaders must be aware of how their behavior and reactions impact them and others. Having these skills will help you recover and learn quickly so when you confront similar situations, you know how to address them quickly.

Another strategy is to frame how you think. If someone at work blows up at you, instead of thinking, "Wow, what a jerk," you can instead ask why did they react this way? It is easy to let someone's behavior have a negative impact and create a divide. But reframing de-personalizes it so that you can bring a different perspective.

Be a flexible leader

A key ingredient to resiliency is being flexible and able to change course as circumstances change or more information is readily available. 

It breeds creativity, innovation, and new ways of thinking because we are not stuck in one linear thought.

As Michelle Segar, Ph.D. succinctly expresses it:

"Flexible thinking drives creativity and resilience in the face of challenges and unexpected sudden change. Studies generally find that when it comes to eating and exercise, being overly restrictive often backfires. However, flexible thinking enables us to better manage our food consumption and physical activity."

Flexibility is necessary to change course in an ever-changing environment or situation. Not staying flexible can lead you over the cliff when you could have traveled the nicely paved road.

Bringing it together

Like the mighty oak and the resilient willow, leaders face a choice: resist change and risk breaking or adapt and emerge stronger. The most effective leaders embrace adaptability and cultivate resilience. This means:

Prioritizing Self-Awareness: Understand your triggers and reactions to manage them effectively.

Reframing Your Thinking: Shift away from personalizing challenges towards seeking solutions.

Embracing Flexibility: Be open to pivoting and innovating in a dynamic world.

Which areas will be your focus for growth in the coming weeks? 

Leading Everyday – Prince's Leadership Legacy: Impact & Making Your Mark

 

I was listening to “Purple Rain” by Prince when I wrote this post. If you are like me, you were hugely impacted by the untimely death of one of the greatest musical artists ever. I am affected by the loss of such a massive star and human being because it reminds me of my mortality and that the things I grew up with are being lost slowly and individually. No one is promised tomorrow. You can die at 80, 25, or 57, like Prince.

Reading the news articles about Prince taught me things I hadn’t known before. He collaborated with other music stars such as Stevie Nicks, co-writing with her the hit song “Stand Back”; he wrote for Susanna Hoff and The Bangles “Manic Monday.” Prince also developed other singers and artists such as Vanity, Carmen Electra, Wendy, and Lisa; the list goes on.

Prince indeed has left a legacy behind that while he lived, we probably didn’t even give it a second thought and took it for granted, mainly because we live for the moment and don’t think about the future.

Such a loss of that as Prince makes me wonder if I am making an impact in this world. As a leader, I want to leave a legacy, impact the lives of those I come in contact with, and, hopefully, change the world one person at a time.

Regardless of what you do in life and work, you can leave an impact and a legacy. You are not limited by industry, location, economic status, or anything else that the world would burden you with as a limitation. And if you are a parent, the first place you need to lead is at home. You might not impact the world like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr, or the Apostle Paul. But how you teach your children can determine if they will be the next – fill in the blank – that will impact the world mightily.

Finally, in the song Purple Rain, there is a line that I never paid much attention to until now: "You say you want to be a leader, but you can’t seem to make up your mind.” There are people out there looking for leaders to follow. I urge you to make up your mind and be the leader you were called to be where you are right now. Leave a legacy at home, work, or the world. But make up your mind to be the most outstanding leader you can be.

Leading Everyday - Your are leader if...

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be in management. In the early years, the word leader, or leadership, never even crossed my mind. I knew I wanted to be in a position of authority with a big company and make good money. Not only did I have no idea of what management meant, but I was also even more clueless about leadership.

However, as I began my management journey early in my career, it wasn’t until after that I realized that I needed to be more than a manager and transition into a leadership role. I am grateful to say that, thus far, my leadership journey has been a rewarding one. I have learned many lessons through trial and error. I have failed plenty of times, but I also have made sure I learned from those lessons and did not repeat the same mistake that led to failure. 

The general school of thought about leadership is that you must have a title to be a leader. And to do that, I say, “You are correct”! So if you have the title of mom, dad, uncle, CEO, manager, etc... then you are a leader. But also, are you an effective leader, and are you putting your role into practice for the good and benefit of others? 

Here are three things that will determine if you are a leader, effective, and selfless: 

Take the initiative – you are a leader if you see a need and fill the need. You open your eyes to problems, jump in to find a remedy and ease the pain of those most affected. Taking the initiative means you are responsible and accountable. Many don’t want to assume responsibility for various reasons. They might feel ill-equipped. They might fear failure and criticism. Or they don’t care and are selfish and live by the mantra “to each their own.” But not a true leader. So, if you are taking the initiative and driving results for the benefit of others, you are a leader. 

You want to see others succeed – Leaders must invest time developing themselves to help build others. It’s like the instructions you are given on an airplane before take-off, “if we should lose cabin pressure, please put on your oxygen mask first before you can help someone else.” However, the leader’s primary goal for developing themselves is to help others grow in their jobs, progress in their careers, and mature professionally and personally. 

You model what you expect – it’s not enough to be exceedingly expectant of others. Leaders model what they desire. Leaders must set an example if they want team members to attend meetings on time, treat others with respect, and many other good standards that leaders should be displaying. If you want your team to perform their jobs excellently, then you, as a leader, must also perform your job excellently. The mantra “do as I say, not as I do” was spoken by someone clueless about leadership. Your work team, children, and others who look up to you are likelier to do what they see you doing than what you say. So, model the behaviors you expect at work, at home, and in social circles. 

What else can you add to what makes an effective and selfless leader?

Leading Everyday - Daily Deposits

Employees need our daily guidance, teaching moments, and words of encouragement.

It will cost us something to make deposits that will have a long-lasting impact on those who depend on and look up to us.

It will cost us our time, energy, and moments of frustration. Nevertheless, it will cost us something.

Here are several deposits you can make daily to those under your care:

1. Time. This one is obvious, and you heard it a million times. You can't build relationships with those around you without spending time with them. And while you build relationships, you get to know people more intimately.

2. Encouragement. Give your spouse, children, employees, or friend a word of encouragement. It can be a "job well done" to your employee. Or to your child, "What a great drawing." Or "That outfit looks great on you" to your spouse. Whatever words of encouragement you have, let them be heard to have a full impact.

3. Teach. Life is about learning something new every day. If you have children, I guarantee things are yet to be discovered. Train up your child. Take them to the library or the zoo. I guarantee they will learn something new.

Question: Are you willing to pay the cost and make daily deposits?

Leading Everyday: The Power of the Unplanned - Why Great Leaders Embrace Secret Destinations

 The Power of the Unplanned: Why Great Leaders Embrace Secret Destinations

Martin Buber's profound quote, "All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware," resonates deeply with the essence of leadership. We embark with ambitious goals and aspirations, armed with maps and plans, yet rarely does the path unfold exactly as anticipated. It's the unexpected detours, the unforeseen forks in the road, that reveal hidden destinations, shaping our leadership journeys more profoundly than any map could ever guide.

Think of the iconic leaders who have left their mark on history. Nelson Mandela's vision of a free South Africa led him through decades of imprisonment and unimaginable sacrifices, forging a leader of unparalleled resilience and forgiveness.* Malala Yousafzai's* quest for education faced the brutal reality of a bullet, propelling her onto a global platform advocating for girls' rights. Their leadership journeys were anything but linear, their true destinations unveiled by courage, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace the unplanned.

This doesn't imply abandoning planning altogether. Leaders require vision, setting guiding principles that illuminate the direction. Yet, a rigid focus on a singular destination can impede growth and blind us to opportunities that lie beyond the charted course. True leadership demands flexibility, the ability to read the ever-shifting terrain, and the courage to veer off course when a hidden path beckons.

Here are three ways to navigate the "secret destinations" that shape your leadership journey:

1. Cultivate a Spirit of Curiosity: Leaders fixated on preordained outcomes risk missing the whispers of opportunity. Develop genuine curiosity about the world around you, actively seeking diverse perspectives and engaging with challenges with an open mind. Remember, your "destination" might not be a place, but a person you inspire, a problem you solve, or a potential you unlock. Think of a time when your curiosity led you down an unexpected path that resulted in a positive outcome for yourself or your team.

2. Embrace the Power of Experimentation: Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and experiment with new approaches. Treat setbacks as valuable detours that refine your leadership compass. Encourage your team to do the same, fostering a culture of innovation and openness to exploring uncharted territories. Share an experience where taking a calculated risk led to unexpected learning or success.

3. Learn from Every Encounter: Every interaction, every challenge, every detour holds a valuable lesson. Reflect on your experiences, both positive and negative, and glean insights that can reshape your leadership style and decision-making. Remember, the secret destinations often reveal themselves in the rearview mirror. Reflect on a time when a seemingly negative experience ultimately provided valuable leadership insight.

Leadership isn't about arriving at a preordained point on a map. It's about embracing the journey itself, the detours that test your character, the unexpected encounters that refine your skills, and the hidden possibilities that emerge when you least expect them. So, pack your adventurous spirit, set your guiding principles, and embrace the secret destinations that await. As Buber reminds us, the most impactful journeys are often the ones that lead us where we never thought we'd go.